Editing: What is this thing?

I really want to talk about editing. Editing is a fine beast, and a totally different state of mind than writing. It is not terribly infrequent to sit down with every intention of writing, and suddenly find oneself editing instead. I don't usually see this as a problem, if only because the process of the edit actually resolves itself into discovering the solution to whatever the current conundrum happens to be. There are other times where writing simple never happens, and I'll disappear into a different project and edit that instead. This isn't entirely the way I thought this post was going to start. I could edit, (and of course, I have) but I think I'll just jump around instead. (My webcam's off... you can't watch.)

On The Path Of Form And Style

I've talked in previous posts of how my work has changed, but I think the scope is missing from it. Part of the idea for this post came up as a desire to talk about that age-old question, “Where do you get your ideas,” and part of it is just rumination from some the comments I've made in other posts. I got to thinking that maybe it would be interesting to go over my work in a timeline sort of fashion and talk a little bit about how my style has developed over the course of my career thus far. I'm not gonna offer much of a preamble here... I'm just sorta gonna jump right in.

It's All An Act

2-Act vs 5-Act

The way in which my writing has changed with the passing of time is evident in every facet of the process and the final product. I write in verse because that is simply the way I write. I wish I could say there was something purposeful about it, but the truth would remain unchanged. I like it. It's structure has become more sophisticated over time, and large part of that was intentional, but I think it would be more interesting to note one of the unintentional transitions.

My early play-in-verse structure, in both form and layout, drew from the heavy hitters of yore. My original emulation of Heroic Couplets strove after the flavor of Milton and Paradise Lost, while the structure itself pulled upon the Bard; William Shakespeare. I had read more Shakespeare than any other playwright, all those years ago, and I recall being somewhere in Hell, then, too, so it should come as no surprise to anyone that they influenced my beginning. Of course, I was certainly nowhere near capable of accomplishing so daunting of a task with any degree of success... which is not to say I didn't finish that first play, but that I slowly started to change my methodology in the second... and in every play since, too, for that matter.

Gaaah! Or, Post-Conference Mayham

As the title might suggest, Lordy, Lordy, have I been busy. There is a lot to be said for trying to assemble an infrastructure from the ground up, and it's definitely given me a new appreciation for the entrepreneurial spirit that I never believed I had. Now, let's not get too crazy. I haven't gotten around to attempting to self-produce (not that there's anything against that). If you know me, you know that's the thing I fear most. I want to sit down opening night and see the show for the first time, having never met the cast, if at all possible. To me, that is when I know how well I did my job. But I'm not there yet, and I'm writing today to talk about the road I've been building to that end. So...

Where to start? That was one of the battles I had to face after attending the Dramatists Guild Conference #WriteChange a few weeks back. There was a lot of chicken-and-the-egg conversations I was having with myself. Honestly.  Here's my post-conference to-do list:

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene vii and viii

So, here it is folks, the final two scenes of Airport Sparrows.  I hope you have enjoyed it, and we'll see what's next on the blog when I figure that out.  That whole planning ahead thing I haven't quite figured it out yet.

Act 2 scene vii

an airport 

enter MICHELLE and SARAH 

Michelle- I must admit that I’m surprised you’re back.

What’s wrong the international track? 

Sarah- For the likes of you, think nothing at all,

But you’ve always looked to destinations

More than have ever enjoyed the journey.

I just think it’s too long a flight for me. 

enter LAURA, spilling coffee on them 

Laura- Oh fuck, oh shit!  I’m so fucking sorry!

I wasn’t watching where I was going. 

Sarah- Forget about it ma’am, it didn’t burn, we’re fine. 

Just watch the track to which your feet align.

[LAURA starts to go then stops Something about Sarah seems familiar] 

Airport Sparrows Act 1 scene v and vi

Sorry I'm getting this up so late, but as a bonus, I'm throwing in two scenes for one!  Enjoy!

Act 2 scene v

an airport 

enter SARAH and PAUL

Sarah- Alright Paul, what is it you’ve got to say,

You’ve had that smirk upon your face all day. 

Paul- Can’t a boy enjoy his indiscretions?

Must he share every little detail

When you’re not int’rested in who I'd hail? 

Sarah- Might believe you if I didn’t know you.

I’ve heard every story since your birth

As soon as you’ve had the breath to say it.

I'm not interested in your bullshit. 

Paul- Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Sarah,

Was just trying to have a little fun.

You don’t really want to hear it anyway.

So maybe I'll save it for another day. 

Sarah- And deal with your smirking face until then? 

I don’t think so, Paul. Come on, out with it,

You’ve no need to add to my discomfit. 

Aiport Sparrows Act 2 scene iv

Act 2 scene iv

the Blue Canary 

Lights up; LYNDON is on the phone, MARC is sitting at the bar 

Lyndon- I’m not saying that I don’t understand,

I'm just saying that I’m disappointed…
Come on man, I'm not holding it against you

And it was myself alone that saw it… [a pause]
Alright then, Jason, if that's what you want,

You can grab your check Friday afternoon. [hangs up]
Damn it; I should have just fired the asshole.

 

Marc- Well, living here is a catch 22,

And there really isn't much you can do

To improve upon the situation

So long as my brother's still around here. 

Lyndon- That's a certain amount of truth I fear, 

And much as I try to stay above it all,

This all plays out a little close to home.

Marc- That would have been me, had I not gone away. 

Lyndon- I wish there was something that I could say 

To make any of this better for you; 

But, at least there's not much to make it worse,

I mean, aside from the most obvious.

Marc- I would leave today if I could, no lie --

Not that I’m eager for my mom to die,

But this slow descent is hell all its own.

At least Laura's been leaving me alone. 

Lyndon- Yeah, I heard a little bird mention it; 

I don't think that's the smartest thing you've done... 

Marc- I wasn't trying to start anything,

And the example I was trying to bring... 

Lyndon- You're not going to be able to fix this, 

And not it's not your responsibility...

It was an asshole move, if you ask me. 

Marc- I guess it's pretty par for the course then. 

enter PAUL 

Lyndon- While, I'm certain that is her opinion, 

I know you a bit better than that though.

Why don't you put the evasions behind

And tell me what's really bothering you, Marc. 

Marc- Betty's prognosis is edging the dark, 

And when it comes to it, I'll have naught left:

I'll have no reason to stay when she's gone.

And it's not like I've much to return to;

I haven't had the best luck in LA... 

I'm just lonely, Lyndon; what can I say. 

Lyndon- Come on Marc, get Sarah out of your mind;

[to PAUL] Evening Friend, can I some bev’rage find? 

Paul- A Cosmo, my dear, would be quite lovely,

Don’t suppose you're saving this seat for me. 

Marc- It wasn’t being saved for anyone,

Though this isn't the warmest discussion. 

Lyndon- A bit warmer than the street, I'd wager. 

Paul- There is a chill that's naught to do with the air,

Which is not to say that I really care,

But I prefer a little discretion

In the cold stares thrown in my direction. 

Marc- Then you've come to the wrong side of town,

Which is not to say that there's a good part.

I’m Marc; this is Lyndon; you'll be safe here. 

Paul- Oh, that is rather sweet of you, my dear,

But I can take care of myself, I swear. 

Lyndon- As your host, I prefer you be aware 

Of the circumstances you've strolled into;

I'll be happy to call a cab for you. 

Paul- Don't fret o'er me, handsome; I'll be fine, 

But it seems I interrupted something... 

Marc- Nothing particularly int'resting; 

The rambles of someone Fate's detesting. 

Paul- Now that sounds rather int'resting indeed. 

They say talking to a total stranger

Often leads to some different insights; 

And you'll not find any stranger than me. 

Lyndon- I'd argue, but I completely agree. 

Marc- I'm tired of hearing myself say it;

Let’s say an old nightmare killed a new dream

And I am not so happy as I seem. 

Paul- Non sequitors and evasions; how new;

It's no wonder that there's no help for you. 

Lyndon- He spoke affection’s key word to his ex

In front of a girl who'd caught his fancy.

The timing was ill, and she caught no context,

But it sure as hell killed his desired tryst.

Paul- So just give it a few flicks of the wrist. 

Lyndon- I only wish it was so easy for him; 

Unfortunately, fancy's made lust dim. 

Marc- I know that it won't excuse anything,

But just because I do still love Laura

Does not mean I want relations with her:

That romance has been dead a long time now.

It's not like I've had the best luck in love,

But then this other girl did come around,

And found me at my most clumsy of selves,

And still opted to bless my company;

I was oe'rjoyed by the prospect of it.

Now, I understand I hardly knew her,

But I really believe there was something...
She was a brief light to my life in hell

And I hoped she saw that in me as well. 

Paul- So what will you do to rectify it? 

Marc- There's nothing that I can do. Honestly; 

She want's nothing at all to do with me. 

Paul- Oh, honey, you must do better than that, 

Or you'll never win her over again. 

Marc- She made her choice, so end of discussion. 

I refuse to make her life mis'rable

Just because I believe there's something there.

I've been on the wrong side of that before. 

Paul- Would that be the girl who caused the closed door? 

Well, you are in a bit of a pickle. 

Lyndon- And now he's here bemoaning his fate, 

Over words said too soon, and far too late. 

Paul- So, what would you say if she was here now? 

Marc- I really just want a chance to explain; 

And show misconception as a false stain.

If she still wants naught to do with me then,

At least it would be for a fair reason. 

Paul- Perhaps the reason is real already, 

And it's you whom she sees as unsteady. 

Marc- Either way, I'd rather the slate be clear. 

Paul- Well, I wish you the best of luck, my dear; 

As clearly you've not written her off yet. 

Lyndon- For my sake, I wish he'd simply forget; 

He's got enough going on without her

That it seems a great waste to wallow so. 

Paul- There's no accounting for taste, as you know; 

You'll just have to suffer til he lets go. 

Lyndon- If she was but out of mind, or within reach… 

Paul- These are not lessons a person can teach; 

Now, my good man, how much do I owe? 

Lyndon- Leaving us so soon? I just welcomed you. 

Paul- Alas, one and done is all I can do 

Or I'll ne'er manage to find the right bed...

And by your word, there're many a wrong one. 

Lyndon- For such courtesy as you have here done 

By bending yourself to his troubled voice

And thus diverting the flow from my ear; 

I have decided your account is clear. 

Paul- Oh, that's intolerably kind of you. 

Best of luck with the girl: gentles, adieu 

exit PAUL 

Marc- I guess you’re not pretty enough for him. 

Lyndon- Your sob story scares ev'ryone away,

So don't go blaiming me when they'll not stay. 

How 'bout you fill the air with ought than tears

And throw some money into the jutebox? 

Marc- You'd better handle that yourself, my friend,

For my music would but service the same end. 

blackout

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene iii

This is one of those scenes that I had a lot comments from after the reading.  Namely, why the town was so bad, and what exactly Betty did, were left unclear in the original version.  Or, I suppose it's more correct to say that the last draft was less specific.  In any case, here is the updated, more refined version.  Enjoy.

Act 2 scene iii 

a street

enter MARC and BETTY

Marc- I don’t know what to do anymore, mom.
It seems that ev’ry step I make is wrong –
Not that life in LA was much better,
But here every skeleton comes out
And harries what hope I had into rout. 

Betty- I know you didn’t want to come home, Marc, 

And I have always respected your wish.
You must know it gladdens me that you're here –
Not that I'll keep you much longer, I fear. 

Marc- Don’t expect me to find consolation

In the fact that you’ll soon be dead and gone.

However long you chose to linger ‘round
Will I, in this miserable town, be found. 

Betty- I know that there is much wrong in this place,

But I've always known I'd never leave it.
Even those who you would call enemy
Look after me as I once tended them.
When I am dead, you need never return,
But for now, for me, pray a blind eye turn. 

Marc- I have never understood your reasons 

For staying and putting up with all the 

Drugs and violence that carries this town.

Betty- If I left, I would have let myself down. 

All I need do is look at kids like you

To know I've been doing the right thing here.

There have always been more who needed me,

And if I left, who else would e'er help them?

No Marc, I love too much to ever leave. 

Marc- E'en after all the shit my brother's pulled? 

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene ii

Act 2 scene ii
an airport 

enter PAUL and SARAH 

Paul- Is it too much to ask that you get here
At least a little before pre-flight begins?
A little kindness and ev’ryone wins. 

Sarah- I'm sorry Paul, my life’s a shit show now.
I had a run in with Michael last night
And I’m not in any mood just now to fight. 

Paul- Christ, can you not get away from that boy?
I would not wish him upon anyone
Least of all a friend who I care about.
Christ, how did you get stuck with such a lout? 

Sarah- Tis my fate to find only those low born
Who cannot do other than break my heart.
Maybe I should go international. 

Paul- What have you been keeping silent upon
That did claim but yesterday as dawn? 

Sarah- Not yesterday, but one day further on
Begat these fresh trials that darken my hope.
Seems that I, with men, simply cannot cope.

Paul- Yesterday’s precedent puts you with Marc…
What manner of ill beguiles e’en his mind
That he could afflict as soon as did find? 

Sarah- I cannot know other than what I saw,
Which, though short, was more than I could handle
Marc had saddled up to the bar and spoke;
He was most impassioned there in his speech;
With some drunk hussy of a maid, some skank
On whom bestowed that most ill fated word.
I didn’t e’en give him leave to explain…
I just left after did him defame. 

Paul- Now pray, my dear, how short is short a time
That you should find him and quick defame
And leave even before learning her name? 

Sarah- Confess the space of a breath broke the time:
I came and left as soon as saw the crime. 

Paul- Having not seen the maid, nor heard the speech
I cannot an accurate judgment make;
That said, I think you the subtext mistake. 

Sarah- It matters not to me anymore, Paul.
I am so sick and tired of man’s fell misdeeds,
That even if I misjudged this fellow,
Tis only a matter of time ere fails.
I’d rather avoid now what that entails. 

Paul- If you would choose love ‘lone by that measure
Than you censure love ere it can begin.
There is no such thing as a perfect love
That is ever above reproach and sin.
Perfect love is forgiveness Sarah,
And if you’ll not give him leave to explain
Than all of your hopes are hopes made in vain. 

Sarah- So says the man who avoids all such love
As though it were some most vile contagion
For which there is no inoculation.

Paul- Just because I have not found love
Doesn’t mean I won’t embrace it when found.
It is you who knows not what is love’s sound. 

Sarah- I’m done with it Paul, done with fantasy.
Love should find some other victim than me.
 
exit SARAH 

Paul- And I believe you find fault to readily,
I must to the truth of this matter see. 

exit PAUL

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene i

Act 2 scene i
a street

enter SARAH

Sarah- Oh, fuck me, has it really been so long
Since I stepped ‘cross a threshold of mine own?
The date says no, yet seems longer has past
Than any reasonable calendar;
Yet; it is not enough time to forget
Such treasons as brought ruin to my heart

enter MICHAEL

Cannot mind from wretched organ depart?

Michael- Sarah, my love, have been away too long.
Oh how I have missed your passionate song.

Sarah- Christ Michael, get the hell away from me!
Tis done, find another to treat so poorly!

Michael- Poorly my love? I have ever treated you well--
Devoted all that I am unto you
That I might give you all that you deserve.
Poorly? My love pours through every nerve…

Sarah- There is not a drop of love in you, Mike.
You are but a pitiful and lost boy
Who e’er mistakes his penis for his heart.
What stirs beneath the level of your belt
Has nothing to do with love, nor with me:
E’en if I wanted boys, would not choose thee.

Michael- My love, how can you say such unto me?
How can I, you, my deepest passion see?

Sarah- Michael, I cannot say how I loath thee;
There are not enough words to say how foul
Even your voice sounds upon my ear.
You are but a lying and selfish cheat
Whose sweetest words have fermented his brain,
Corrupting what e’er good did once reside.
Should I ne’er hear another word of you
I would consider it a well deserved break.
I’ll no more of your sad drivel take.

Michael- Drivel? My words have only carried love.
Yet... I can see now I deserve better--
That you are unworthy of my passions.
Know it must come as unexpected shock
After so much apparent devotion,
But my heart can take no more of your spite.
We are over Sarah, know not what saw…
Nay: Pine not, beg not, of you I’ve no need.
I’ll find a better woman for my seed.

exit MICHAEL

Sarah- What the fuck? You crazy fucking bastard...
Dare I think; dare I hope that he speaks true
That he has finally abandoned me?
I have not the strength of faith to believe
That the measure of woe does find an end.
Tis done, at least… oh Christ, I hope it is...
Yet it’s a word of hope I’ve heard before,
And I cannot do else than doubt its truth…
Damn it, betrayal would keep me awake
E’en without Michael to my peace forsake…

exit SARAH

Airport Sparrows Act 1 scene viii

Act 1 scene viii 

the Blue Canary

enter MARC and LYNDON 

Marc- So that, my friend, is how began the day

And the night, I fear, can go either way. 

Lyndon- Vindication’s found in her arrival, 

So you’ve nothing to fear if she here shows.

More though, I’m sorry Laura found you so

And brought her long tempered hatred to bear.

She has stewed herself in such bitter bile

That I’m not surprised the silence’s broken:

Least now that vitriol has been spoken. 

Marc- And I know I’m not without guilt in this. 

Was right about my untoward silence

And that I did a grave mis-justice do.

It would not have survived the distance, though:

She always needed so much real contac

That long distance ne'er would have gotten far…

It's hard to comprehend how deep that scar. 

Lyndon- My sister chose her own path Marc, not you. 

Nor are you are without fault, as well have said,

But... in the end, it was her will alone

That carried her so deep into darkness.

But you should not take on more than you earned,

For even I who have not left this place 

Still garner only affection's sorrow;

When I see her, she's just looking for dough. 

Marc- Have we neglected as friend and brother 

That she should fly so into the darkness?

Could we have done more, and not so much less? 

Lyndon- I don’t know Marc: descended so fast; 

By the time I had returned from Dover

She had already paved her road to hell.

Could we have otherwise than what we’ve done?

Perhaps, my friend, but at what cost to us?

Would have been us there, and her in our place

Wondering how we’d found such barren roads.

We cannot alter the past, nor Laura

Unless she chooses to do otherwise.

And for that, she does both of us despise. 

Marc- Tell you this Lyndon, miss the old Laura. 

Missed her from the day we departed here.

She was as much a friend as lover,

And though that part of her died long ago,

I suffer more that the former’s gone too.

Feel more guilty, now, after our interview. 

Lyndon- You’ve other things to worry about here 

Than Laura’s trials and self inflicted woes.

I’d that you’d find some respite in my bar

From the past that returns to assail you.

Beg of you, leave your burdens by the door

And let them, for an hour, trouble you no more.

enter LAURA, drunk/high 

Marc- How can I leave them at the door, my friend

When they so easily find the entrance.

Cannot avoid when makes her own presence. 

Lyndon- Goddamn it Laura; go the fuck away. 

Have you not caused enough trouble today? 

Laura- Fuck you Lyndon, I didn't come for you. 

I’ve unsettled business here with him

And I’d rather you stay out of my way. 

Marc-y, Marc-y, Marc. How are you today? 

Marc- Have you not loosed enough venom my way 

That you should ruin what’s left of my day? 

Laura- One small day does not balance the accounts 

Of a lifetime of shadows and sorrows.

You owe me far more than a single day

And I will claim it as would a pound of flesh

Cleaved a moment before by the butcher.

Know well I hold you destiny’s villain

And your demise I will revel much in. 

Lyndon- Have you not destroyed one life enough, sis, 

That now you must range forward to destroy more?

Get out Laura, you know where lies the door. 

Laura- Seek you now to brave my talons brother, 

To defend this worthless sack before you?

Nay Lyndon, you have not the strength for it

And I’ll not waste time on less than this shit. [points to Marc] 

Lyndon- Don’t make me summon forth the legal hand 

To remove you forth from my holding’s land. 

Laura- Oh, I’ve time enough ere they would arrive: 

Would but the appointment change; not deprive. 

Marc- Cannot believe that the world has changed so, 

That you, who long ago stood united,

Should face each other now as mortal foes!

What good is found that you should wage so strong

‘Gainst those who never sought to do you harm?

This world is harsh, but we’ve moved on, Laura,

And perhaps it is best that you should too.

Run as always said, and find somewhere new. 

Laura- And whither do you think that I should go? 

All that I have ever desired is here;

Has returned, just as the sun’s wide orbit

Kisses again e’en the long barren field;

My love casts again; the fallowed seeds grow.

I could not leave now, nor do I wish too! 

enter SARAH

Through all of this shit, Marc, I still love you. 

Marc- Twas not the sun, it was death’s scythe that dropped, 

But damn it Laura, my love never stopped. 

Sarah- And thus Marc, as do emotion confide, 

I discern in words once spoken, have lied. 

Marc- Fuck! Sarah, pray give me leave to explain! 

exit SARAH 

Fuck you!  Must you ev’ry ‘motion defame? 

exit MARC 

Lyndon- Goddamn it!  Must you destroy all you touch!

Your life, beloved sister, is not Pompeii,

Nor is your love of that mummified form

That others shall look upon and learn from.

You’ve spent so much time playing the victim

That you have blinded yourself to all else.

What happened to the girl I grew up with

Who would leap selflessly into the flames

If she thought she could save another’s life?

What happened to my sister who could walk

Like an angel across the razor’s edge

That is life in this shit hole of a town?

You have always blamed Marc for everything,

But all that he has ever done was love you.

Must know that your life since as been your own:

That you can't blame Marc for your decisions

Just because he was not there to stop you.

You cannot blame Marc for Lucifer’s fall:

This is your life, and you who must stand tall! 

Laura- Long have I laboured to release the chain 

That has bound that demon unto my heart.

Should thank me for saving her from such woe

You think I should wallow over such tripe?

I still love him Lyndon; I want him back

And I refuse to cut him any slack. 

Lyndon- You are a fucking two year old screaming 

Because you are being denied a toy! 

Marc will never fall for your stupid ploy. 

Laura- Fuck you Lyndon, I’ll claim again what’s mine! 

Such is fate; such is my goddamn design! 

exit LAURA 

Lyndon- Goddamn that fucking, most confounded bitch!
Seeking still, what can ne’er again attain,
And more than happy reaping further disgrace...
Fuck you Laura, and fuck this fetid place! 

exit LYNDON