Baci n. 68

A rough draft of my newest sestina, offered with no comment.


Baci N. 68
A true friend knows all there is to know about you yet still likes you.
E. Hubbard

They say love is an ever splendid thing,
But they who love, know love is not so tame,
Nor so willful as the tempest would seem.
Love does not look upon the challenges
And balk at the sound of noble reason
Lecturing about foolishness and pride.

And yet love is every sin and pride
And a far more noble, dangerous thing
Than can be dreamed of, even by reason.
And though the casual glance may 'pear tame,
It is the residue of challenges
Defeated by what does but timid seem.

I promise, there is more there than does seem
And friendship nurtured by love held with pride
Is true testament to the challenges.
I've never known love as an easy thing,
But I have grown stronger, and yes, more tame,
And I tell you that love is the reason.

And I'll be e'er grateful for the reason,
Even if it, as blasphemy, does seem;
Lost love has wisdom, and strength can be tame.
But I acknowledge love with certain pride
For it, I promise, is a noble thing
That forced me to face my own challenges.

It has never been without challenges,
Like love's fire in the face of cold reason-
And love cannot defeat every thing.
I know, as contrary-ian as does seem,
I will say it with the utmost of pride,
That letting go is strength, and is tame.

A friendship born of love might not seem tame,
Nor is such friendship without challenges,
But to lose friendship for lost love is pride.
And the love is still there, with due reason,
For my life was changed more than it does seem
Because love is an ever splendid thing.

Really, here's the thing: friendship is love, tame,
Strange as it may seem.  And the challenges
Faced for that reason, should be worn with pride.

Blurred Lines

Scene i

C

It's strange to me that you're dying right now.

W

Strange to you? How do you think I'm feeling?

C

Well, looking at you, it doesn't seem so bad -

Mean, you don't look like you're dying to me.

It is only because I know that you are,

That I comment 'pon the discrepancy.

W

Clearly all that healthy living paid off.

C

Healthy I'm not so sure of, but living...

You certainly have done a fair share of that.

W

Well you would know; we've been friends long enough.

C

Is that all I am, after all this time?

W

Friend is high praise. There aren't many of them.

C

And I have to wonder who's fault that is...

W

Nature of the business, I'm afraid.

I'm surprised you've stuck around so long.

C

For some reason I wish I had longer...

W

It's not like I've been very kind to you...

C

And I don't regret a single minute.

I wouldn't be who I am without you,

And I do not know who I will become,

Without you lurking over my shoulder.

You have always been the sage in my life...

W

And now you're giving me far too much credit.

All I have ever done is talked too much;

You're responsible for your own choices,

I've just hung around to witness them all.

C

And I've gotten myself into a few...

I'm gonna be lost with you around.

W

I won't say I'm not glad to be missed,

But I think you undervalue yourself.

You have always managed to come out on top,

And you'll do so even without me here.

Stop being so dour. If anyone...

C

You're right, of course. I'm just being selfish.

W

We're all selfish, so don't make me a saint.

I haven't exactly been altruistic here.

C

I would never accuse you of that, sir.

W

Condescending now... always a favorite...

C

And just who do you think I got it from?

W

Irreverant too. I'm gonna miss you.

C

Now you're just trying to make me feel bad.

W

Not intentionally. Force of habit.

Looking around.

I have always liked coming here, you know.

C

I do know. This is also where we met.

It seems like ages ago, actu'lly...

W

So much has happened to us both since then.

C

And you got the better end of that deal.

W

You say that, but it's you who will live on.

C

I am not that gullible anymore.

All I've ever been is a photograph...

W

Now that has to be the most untrue thing...

You have never been a simple photo,

And to reduce yourself to such constraints

Again undermines the sheer potential

That meeting you will mean to anyone.

I know my life has been better with you

Than I can imagine the same without.

C

Impending doom is making you sappy.

W

Impending doom in making you orn'ry.

C

And you're not going down alone, you shit.

W

Some things are just not under my control...

I know, hard to believe... hard to admit.

But I don't think you should be so worried.

If anything I shall be remembered

Because of you, not the other way 'round.

C

And I am grateful for everything...

But you know my future ends with you, too.

W

No. You don't belong to me anymore,

And you will live on without me, I swear.

I'm not the only one who loves you, now.

C

I wish I was real... that this, now, was real...

W

So you want to be sitting here dying?

C

I am sitting here dying. Just like you.

W

I may have reduced your life to a page,

But you live when ever someone reads it.

Me? The only reason they know my name,

Is because it was I who put you there.

Trust there are more favorite characters

Out in the world than there are writers,

And those characters shall always live on

Because real characters are real people;

We writers will always be just a name.

C

Maybe to the people you give me to,

But not to me! Never to me! I swear.

Nobody will ever love you like me.

W

And nobody can e'er love you like me,

But one thing I know is the world's better

Having you, than it e'er was having me.

C

But I am only here because of you.

W

And will be here long after I am gone.

One thing I have learned in all my time here

Is that writers inspire other writers.

It's the characters who inspire people,

And I wish for nothing more for you

Than to be the person you've shown me you are.

You will not die with me, nor did you live;

I watched and laughed with my pen in hand,

As you did what I merely recorded.

You have been with me for such a long time,

And I have never had a better friend,

Nor could I e'er dream of a deeper love

Than that which would share you with the whole world.

C

What if I never wanted the whole world?

W

You'd not have introduced yourself to me.

But come, my dearest friend, let's not bicker.

I did not seek you out to fight with you.

C

You didn't seek me out at all, my friend.

You are a writer, and would die alone,

You miserable old lout; you scoundrel.

It is fortunate I love you too much

To allow such a narccisitic act.

I refuse to allow you to die alone.

W

And yet you will die with me, as you said.

C

Some things cannot be changed, even by you.

I would die either way; here or elsewhere.

This is where I met you for the first time;

It seems fitting that here we should part.

W

If it's not too awkward to speak the truth;

There is no one else I'd rather die with;

No one else I've ever loved half so much.

C

I hope your creator feels the same way

For you as you do about me, dear friend.

W

If I do have one, we have never met.

But there is one thing I can promise you:

I am not your creator; ne'er have been.

I found you, and our relationship grew

Not because I created it from dust,

But because you exist outside of me,

Just as any other person does.

And, even if I were your creator,

You'll continue to exist without me,

Even as I exist without him.

Every time someone turns to page one,

They will discover this wonderful you.

And you shall live, even as I have lived,

While I shall die, even as god has died.

C

Now you're just being overly dramatic.

W

I'm dying, I thought drama was allowed.

C

I will die with you. The pages aren't me;

They are a mem'ry, your mem'ry, of me.

W

There you are wrong. They are only the start.

The reader will take you places I never could.

No, you have much life still ahead, my friend,

And I am not necessary for that.

You will live on. Only I die today.

C

Think I feel sorry for your creator

Because he never introduced himself;

He deprived you of the chance you've given me...

W

My life is like the one yours will become.

If there was a creator, he has passed,

And this life was carried on by others.

People are each other's readers, you see,

Continually giving birth to each other...

We carry our own pages where e'er we go,

And we read each other's books as they come.

But ev'ry book finds its ending sometime,

And now it's time I put my pages down.

C

Will I remember you after you've gone?

W

I don't know, but neither will you need to;

I'll always be a part of you, my friend.

Like the stars themselves live on in me,

So will I always live on within you.

blackout

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene vii and viii

So, here it is folks, the final two scenes of Airport Sparrows.  I hope you have enjoyed it, and we'll see what's next on the blog when I figure that out.  That whole planning ahead thing I haven't quite figured it out yet.

Act 2 scene vii

an airport 

enter MICHELLE and SARAH 

Michelle- I must admit that I’m surprised you’re back.

What’s wrong the international track? 

Sarah- For the likes of you, think nothing at all,

But you’ve always looked to destinations

More than have ever enjoyed the journey.

I just think it’s too long a flight for me. 

enter LAURA, spilling coffee on them 

Laura- Oh fuck, oh shit!  I’m so fucking sorry!

I wasn’t watching where I was going. 

Sarah- Forget about it ma’am, it didn’t burn, we’re fine. 

Just watch the track to which your feet align.

[LAURA starts to go then stops Something about Sarah seems familiar] 

Airport Sparrows Act 1 scene v and vi

Sorry I'm getting this up so late, but as a bonus, I'm throwing in two scenes for one!  Enjoy!

Act 2 scene v

an airport 

enter SARAH and PAUL

Sarah- Alright Paul, what is it you’ve got to say,

You’ve had that smirk upon your face all day. 

Paul- Can’t a boy enjoy his indiscretions?

Must he share every little detail

When you’re not int’rested in who I'd hail? 

Sarah- Might believe you if I didn’t know you.

I’ve heard every story since your birth

As soon as you’ve had the breath to say it.

I'm not interested in your bullshit. 

Paul- Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Sarah,

Was just trying to have a little fun.

You don’t really want to hear it anyway.

So maybe I'll save it for another day. 

Sarah- And deal with your smirking face until then? 

I don’t think so, Paul. Come on, out with it,

You’ve no need to add to my discomfit. 

Aiport Sparrows Act 2 scene iv

Act 2 scene iv

the Blue Canary 

Lights up; LYNDON is on the phone, MARC is sitting at the bar 

Lyndon- I’m not saying that I don’t understand,

I'm just saying that I’m disappointed…
Come on man, I'm not holding it against you

And it was myself alone that saw it… [a pause]
Alright then, Jason, if that's what you want,

You can grab your check Friday afternoon. [hangs up]
Damn it; I should have just fired the asshole.

 

Marc- Well, living here is a catch 22,

And there really isn't much you can do

To improve upon the situation

So long as my brother's still around here. 

Lyndon- That's a certain amount of truth I fear, 

And much as I try to stay above it all,

This all plays out a little close to home.

Marc- That would have been me, had I not gone away. 

Lyndon- I wish there was something that I could say 

To make any of this better for you; 

But, at least there's not much to make it worse,

I mean, aside from the most obvious.

Marc- I would leave today if I could, no lie --

Not that I’m eager for my mom to die,

But this slow descent is hell all its own.

At least Laura's been leaving me alone. 

Lyndon- Yeah, I heard a little bird mention it; 

I don't think that's the smartest thing you've done... 

Marc- I wasn't trying to start anything,

And the example I was trying to bring... 

Lyndon- You're not going to be able to fix this, 

And not it's not your responsibility...

It was an asshole move, if you ask me. 

Marc- I guess it's pretty par for the course then. 

enter PAUL 

Lyndon- While, I'm certain that is her opinion, 

I know you a bit better than that though.

Why don't you put the evasions behind

And tell me what's really bothering you, Marc. 

Marc- Betty's prognosis is edging the dark, 

And when it comes to it, I'll have naught left:

I'll have no reason to stay when she's gone.

And it's not like I've much to return to;

I haven't had the best luck in LA... 

I'm just lonely, Lyndon; what can I say. 

Lyndon- Come on Marc, get Sarah out of your mind;

[to PAUL] Evening Friend, can I some bev’rage find? 

Paul- A Cosmo, my dear, would be quite lovely,

Don’t suppose you're saving this seat for me. 

Marc- It wasn’t being saved for anyone,

Though this isn't the warmest discussion. 

Lyndon- A bit warmer than the street, I'd wager. 

Paul- There is a chill that's naught to do with the air,

Which is not to say that I really care,

But I prefer a little discretion

In the cold stares thrown in my direction. 

Marc- Then you've come to the wrong side of town,

Which is not to say that there's a good part.

I’m Marc; this is Lyndon; you'll be safe here. 

Paul- Oh, that is rather sweet of you, my dear,

But I can take care of myself, I swear. 

Lyndon- As your host, I prefer you be aware 

Of the circumstances you've strolled into;

I'll be happy to call a cab for you. 

Paul- Don't fret o'er me, handsome; I'll be fine, 

But it seems I interrupted something... 

Marc- Nothing particularly int'resting; 

The rambles of someone Fate's detesting. 

Paul- Now that sounds rather int'resting indeed. 

They say talking to a total stranger

Often leads to some different insights; 

And you'll not find any stranger than me. 

Lyndon- I'd argue, but I completely agree. 

Marc- I'm tired of hearing myself say it;

Let’s say an old nightmare killed a new dream

And I am not so happy as I seem. 

Paul- Non sequitors and evasions; how new;

It's no wonder that there's no help for you. 

Lyndon- He spoke affection’s key word to his ex

In front of a girl who'd caught his fancy.

The timing was ill, and she caught no context,

But it sure as hell killed his desired tryst.

Paul- So just give it a few flicks of the wrist. 

Lyndon- I only wish it was so easy for him; 

Unfortunately, fancy's made lust dim. 

Marc- I know that it won't excuse anything,

But just because I do still love Laura

Does not mean I want relations with her:

That romance has been dead a long time now.

It's not like I've had the best luck in love,

But then this other girl did come around,

And found me at my most clumsy of selves,

And still opted to bless my company;

I was oe'rjoyed by the prospect of it.

Now, I understand I hardly knew her,

But I really believe there was something...
She was a brief light to my life in hell

And I hoped she saw that in me as well. 

Paul- So what will you do to rectify it? 

Marc- There's nothing that I can do. Honestly; 

She want's nothing at all to do with me. 

Paul- Oh, honey, you must do better than that, 

Or you'll never win her over again. 

Marc- She made her choice, so end of discussion. 

I refuse to make her life mis'rable

Just because I believe there's something there.

I've been on the wrong side of that before. 

Paul- Would that be the girl who caused the closed door? 

Well, you are in a bit of a pickle. 

Lyndon- And now he's here bemoaning his fate, 

Over words said too soon, and far too late. 

Paul- So, what would you say if she was here now? 

Marc- I really just want a chance to explain; 

And show misconception as a false stain.

If she still wants naught to do with me then,

At least it would be for a fair reason. 

Paul- Perhaps the reason is real already, 

And it's you whom she sees as unsteady. 

Marc- Either way, I'd rather the slate be clear. 

Paul- Well, I wish you the best of luck, my dear; 

As clearly you've not written her off yet. 

Lyndon- For my sake, I wish he'd simply forget; 

He's got enough going on without her

That it seems a great waste to wallow so. 

Paul- There's no accounting for taste, as you know; 

You'll just have to suffer til he lets go. 

Lyndon- If she was but out of mind, or within reach… 

Paul- These are not lessons a person can teach; 

Now, my good man, how much do I owe? 

Lyndon- Leaving us so soon? I just welcomed you. 

Paul- Alas, one and done is all I can do 

Or I'll ne'er manage to find the right bed...

And by your word, there're many a wrong one. 

Lyndon- For such courtesy as you have here done 

By bending yourself to his troubled voice

And thus diverting the flow from my ear; 

I have decided your account is clear. 

Paul- Oh, that's intolerably kind of you. 

Best of luck with the girl: gentles, adieu 

exit PAUL 

Marc- I guess you’re not pretty enough for him. 

Lyndon- Your sob story scares ev'ryone away,

So don't go blaiming me when they'll not stay. 

How 'bout you fill the air with ought than tears

And throw some money into the jutebox? 

Marc- You'd better handle that yourself, my friend,

For my music would but service the same end. 

blackout

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene iii

This is one of those scenes that I had a lot comments from after the reading.  Namely, why the town was so bad, and what exactly Betty did, were left unclear in the original version.  Or, I suppose it's more correct to say that the last draft was less specific.  In any case, here is the updated, more refined version.  Enjoy.

Act 2 scene iii 

a street

enter MARC and BETTY

Marc- I don’t know what to do anymore, mom.
It seems that ev’ry step I make is wrong –
Not that life in LA was much better,
But here every skeleton comes out
And harries what hope I had into rout. 

Betty- I know you didn’t want to come home, Marc, 

And I have always respected your wish.
You must know it gladdens me that you're here –
Not that I'll keep you much longer, I fear. 

Marc- Don’t expect me to find consolation

In the fact that you’ll soon be dead and gone.

However long you chose to linger ‘round
Will I, in this miserable town, be found. 

Betty- I know that there is much wrong in this place,

But I've always known I'd never leave it.
Even those who you would call enemy
Look after me as I once tended them.
When I am dead, you need never return,
But for now, for me, pray a blind eye turn. 

Marc- I have never understood your reasons 

For staying and putting up with all the 

Drugs and violence that carries this town.

Betty- If I left, I would have let myself down. 

All I need do is look at kids like you

To know I've been doing the right thing here.

There have always been more who needed me,

And if I left, who else would e'er help them?

No Marc, I love too much to ever leave. 

Marc- E'en after all the shit my brother's pulled? 

Airport Sparrows Act 2 scene ii

Act 2 scene ii
an airport 

enter PAUL and SARAH 

Paul- Is it too much to ask that you get here
At least a little before pre-flight begins?
A little kindness and ev’ryone wins. 

Sarah- I'm sorry Paul, my life’s a shit show now.
I had a run in with Michael last night
And I’m not in any mood just now to fight. 

Paul- Christ, can you not get away from that boy?
I would not wish him upon anyone
Least of all a friend who I care about.
Christ, how did you get stuck with such a lout? 

Sarah- Tis my fate to find only those low born
Who cannot do other than break my heart.
Maybe I should go international. 

Paul- What have you been keeping silent upon
That did claim but yesterday as dawn? 

Sarah- Not yesterday, but one day further on
Begat these fresh trials that darken my hope.
Seems that I, with men, simply cannot cope.

Paul- Yesterday’s precedent puts you with Marc…
What manner of ill beguiles e’en his mind
That he could afflict as soon as did find? 

Sarah- I cannot know other than what I saw,
Which, though short, was more than I could handle
Marc had saddled up to the bar and spoke;
He was most impassioned there in his speech;
With some drunk hussy of a maid, some skank
On whom bestowed that most ill fated word.
I didn’t e’en give him leave to explain…
I just left after did him defame. 

Paul- Now pray, my dear, how short is short a time
That you should find him and quick defame
And leave even before learning her name? 

Sarah- Confess the space of a breath broke the time:
I came and left as soon as saw the crime. 

Paul- Having not seen the maid, nor heard the speech
I cannot an accurate judgment make;
That said, I think you the subtext mistake. 

Sarah- It matters not to me anymore, Paul.
I am so sick and tired of man’s fell misdeeds,
That even if I misjudged this fellow,
Tis only a matter of time ere fails.
I’d rather avoid now what that entails. 

Paul- If you would choose love ‘lone by that measure
Than you censure love ere it can begin.
There is no such thing as a perfect love
That is ever above reproach and sin.
Perfect love is forgiveness Sarah,
And if you’ll not give him leave to explain
Than all of your hopes are hopes made in vain. 

Sarah- So says the man who avoids all such love
As though it were some most vile contagion
For which there is no inoculation.

Paul- Just because I have not found love
Doesn’t mean I won’t embrace it when found.
It is you who knows not what is love’s sound. 

Sarah- I’m done with it Paul, done with fantasy.
Love should find some other victim than me.
 
exit SARAH 

Paul- And I believe you find fault to readily,
I must to the truth of this matter see. 

exit PAUL